Thursday, June 3, 2010


The second day was harder than the first. I think it might help if I get to sleep before midnight.

This morning I had to pray for God to "wake me up and refresh my soul!"

I'm having a hard time comprehending how to completely love God. To love him more than anything. I know in my head that I want that. And my heart is trying to follow...I just don't fully understand what that looks like. In our small group at church, we are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I know that I want to be crazy in love with Christ. Chan says that we just have to ask. So, this morning, I also prayed and asked God to "help me to love Him." Then, after I prayed that, I thought - man, I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I have to ask God to help me...but like I've learned...I can not do things on my own! I even need His help to help me love HIM...a perfect, holy God. I do love God, but I desire to love him in a personal, intimate way.

Here's what He showed me this morning:
  • Galatians 6:9 - "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!"
  • 1 John 2:4-5 - If we claim to know Christ, and don't do what His word says - or we aren't obedient - we are liars! But, if we do what His word says and we are obedient, "God's love (or LOVE FOR GOD) is truly made complete in Him." YES! The answer for loving God is right there - Do what His word says - and our love for God will be truly complete!!
  • 1 John 2:9-10 - Anyone who hates his brother - or fellow believer - is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. If I'm not loving, I'm hating...there's no in between. God pointed out a few areas in my life where I'm not being loving...and I'm going to work on reconciling those relationships.
And I leave you with this:
Romans 15:13 - "The God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him."


Morgan, about her drawing: "This is me and Jesus and a heart for love."


I've been waking up (without an alarm) at almost EXACTLY 6:30 every morning. I feel like it has been a God thing trying to say - Here's your time. So yesterday, I looked at the clock and it was 6:29. I did not want to get out of bed and all of a sudden the verse popped in my head, "My power is made perfect in your weakness." And then God gave me a promise of JOY! So, I drug my butt out of bed, and went to the back deck with my journal and my Bible.

God also spoke to my heart that morning that I can do all things through HIS strength...not my own. And it was wasn't my strength that got me out of bed ;)

Then, I prayed that God would be with me while I read his word. One of the most frustrating things for me is being obedient, and then not knowing where to go or what to read. I feel like I end up in the same places in the Bible over and over again. So I asked God to show me HIS truth today.

This is what he showed me:
  • 2 Corinthians 12:5-10 - I am so selfish and think more of myself than I should. I need to stop boasting about my strengths and "boast gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I am told to DELIGHT in WEAKNESSES, INSULTS, HARDSHIPS, PERSECUTIONS, DIFFICULTIES - for Christ's sake! "For when I am weak, then I'm strong!" AMEN! But oh so challenging.
  • Nehemiah 8:5-12 - The Israelites had spent time worshiping and praising God and then the Book of the Law of God was read to them and they were weeping and mourning. Ezra told them not to weep - they were overwhelmed with what God was asking them to do. But Ezra reminded them to be obedient and not grieve because "The joy of the Lord is our strength!" Then the people did go and celebrate because they understood the words - that they did not have to do things in their own strength - God would help them!
  • 9:3 - These people arrived at a place (about a month into their journey to grow closer to God) where they stood reading the word for a quarter of a day! And then, they spent another quarter of the day confessing and worshiping!
A new song on Pandora played while I was editing pictures after my time with God. I was just what I needed to hear.

Make Something Beautiful - by Laura Story

Verse 1:

When I’m at the point of breaking at the place where I resign,

And I’m at the stage of shaking my head as I look back on my life,

When I’m halfway through the grieving, but not quite through the ache,

When I cannot see the ending

Or which road I’m supposed to take,

All I know to do is lift my hands to You.


Take all of my life, all of my life,

And make something beautiful.

I open my hand, trusting Your plan.

Make something beautiful so all will see

Let's just say that my day was wonderful. I was ready to hear the kids call out, "Mommy!" Most days I lay in bed until I hear them...and then think, " we go again." But not this day. I was ready to love my children, my husband, and those who I interacted with. We had breakfast as a family and enjoyed each other.

It's been almost a month...

...and there is a reason for that. Not a good one. I struggle every day with getting out of bed and spending time with God. I have been learning things in church and God has been gracious with me and still draws near to me on Sunday when I actually give Him the time. But the reason I haven't posted is because I haven't been spending time in God's word. I haven't been in set aside prayer time with Him. But that has now changed. I know, it's only been two days...but I have some amazing things to share!!