Hard.

The second day was harder than the first. I think it might help if I get to sleep before midnight.

This morning I had to pray for God to "wake me up and refresh my soul!"

I'm having a hard time comprehending how to completely love God. To love him more than anything. I know in my head that I want that. And my heart is trying to follow...I just don't fully understand what that looks like. In our small group at church, we are reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I know that I want to be crazy in love with Christ. Chan says that we just have to ask. So, this morning, I also prayed and asked God to "help me to love Him." Then, after I prayed that, I thought - man, I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I have to ask God to help me...but like I've learned...I can not do things on my own! I even need His help to help me love HIM...a perfect, holy God. I do love God, but I desire to love him in a personal, intimate way.

Here's what He showed me this morning:

• Galatians 6:9 - "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!"
• 1 John 2:4-5 - If we claim to know Christ, and don't do what His word says - or we aren't obedient - we are liars! But, if we do what His word says and we are obedient, "God's love (or LOVE FOR GOD) is truly made complete in Him." YES! The answer for loving God is right there - Do what His word says - and our love for God will be truly complete!!
• 1 John 2:9-10 - Anyone who hates his brother - or fellow believer - is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. If I'm not loving, I'm hating...there's no in between. God pointed out a few areas in my life where I'm not being loving...and I'm going to work on reconciling those relationships.

And I leave you with this:

Romans 15:13 - "The God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him."