Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My Heart is Broken

There was a girl who came to church a few months ago. She was 24. Her name was Misty. She stuck around after the service because her dad wanted to introduce us. She was a single mom, and had a four year old daughter. Morgan was so excited to meet her daughter; she loves making new friends. After we talked for a few minutes, I got her phone number and said we'd have to get together so the girls could play.

I never called.

Morgan would ask about playing with her new friend. I was just too "busy" or didn't want to be "bothered" with the energy it takes to befriend someone new. That is normally not like me, I usually look for new people to befriend. However, Misty wasn't exactly like me. She came from a family who didn't look like me, or act like me. I don't even know if Misty or her family knew God.

I feel like I lost an opportunity that God placed in my lap. And I'm heartbroken. Misty had a bad heart, and she died last night.

Why?

Why did I have to be so selfish? I know it wasn't my job to save Misty, but it was my job to be her friend; to show Jesus' love to her.

This morning, before I found out that Misty had died, I was reading in 1 Thessalonians. God is stirring my heart for people who don't know him. I am praying for a boldness like never before. Really, what is there to lose? Nothing! But what is there to gain? Everything!

1 Thessalonians 2:4 - We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.

So how should we lead people to the loving arms of Christ?!

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 - As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

It is my prayer that I do not let another opportunity pass me by. My heart is broken and I pray that someone else was obedient to God and that Misty truly loved the Lord with all her heart and surrendered her life to Him.

So I will follow Paul's example in v. 12 about how to live in relationship with others - ...encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God.

Father, I am so sorry that I was not obedient and loving to someone you placed in my life. This was a slap in the face to me and I needed it. Please help me to love others the way you love them. God, break my heart for what breaks yours. I see the need, I see the urgency. Please use me again. Give me the boldness to speak your truth and to be encouraging and comforting. But God most of all, help me to show others the importance of living lives worthy of You.

2 comments:

Suzanne Howell said...

Been thinking of you since you told me this the other day! He loves you and He will take that broken heart and use it for His glory! Did not know you were blogging, loved reading it!

"The sacrifices (my sacrifice O God is) of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart." ~ Psalm 51:17

Odie Langley said...

So sorry you had that experience but you are moving in the right direction and God will certainly use you and I will be joining you in prayer that when a door opens you don't let it close. Many years ago I had an experience in a Sunday school class where I was in charge but there was an actual teacher who had to be out so I thought I needed to fill in. I studied and thought I was ready and stood up to find out that no words could come out of my mouth. I was mortified. Years later as I matured my pastor asked me to fill in for him at a rest home for a couple of weeks while he was out of town and I instantly said I couldn't but the Lord worked in me quickly to go back to him and say yes I would. It turned into a ministry that lasted every Sunday at 4PM for a couple of years. Very rewarding and all I had to do was get out of my comfort zone.